Look Ma, No Plotline!

More from 'Everything I've Been Searching For':

Ten minutes later, we were settled on the hood of the car he was working on reviving, sodas in hand. He jiggled with one of the windshield wipers for a second, before giving up with a disgusted huff and turning to me. “So?”
I grinned. “I bought a car.”
His eyes lit up like Christmas had come early. “Really? Is it outside?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, I walked six miles to visit.”
But he was already off the truck and running towards the door. I laughed and followed him.
I found him, just as I had expected, having a small heart attack over the vehicle parked just outside the barn. Or rather, I found him having a small heart attack while draping himself over the hood with a love struck expression on his face.
“Ohmygod, I can’t believe you got a SOLSTICE! These things are hot!”

Once upon a time, Jamie had attempted to impart some of his car knowledge on me through a series of repair lessons on one of his old scrap cars.
It had ended with both of us slightly charred and covered in oil, staring at the smoking remains of a small sedan. Jamie later informed me that he didn’t even know a car that had been dead that long could explode, but I had sure enough found a way. I was henceforth banned from working on engines, which was just fine with me. All that stuff was so far over my head I was surprised the car hadn’t done more than explode.

“So, if you really want to know the truth about me, I’m going to have to show you something that might be a little…scary…”
“That sounds vaguely dirty.”
“…”
“Sorry. It’s late, and my car is driving itself.”
“…Understood. Maybe I should explain first and show later, to be safe. Especially after your spazz attack earlier.”
“Do you honestly blame me?”
There was a pause, and a slight snicker from the radio in the dashboard. “Guess not. Though it was a little excessive. You are a weird one, babe. Bee’s kid is nothing like you.” I must have looked offended, because I heard laughter. “Relax! I meant that in the best possible way.”
“Is there a good way?” I muttered, my arms folded tightly across my chest.
“Definitely. I like you, kid, you’ve got spunk. An’ you’re easy on the optics.”
“…Thanks?”
“Soooo, aliens—“
“Nice segue way.”
“I practiced, Chatty.”
“You’re an alien?”

I likewise wanted to know all about Cybertron and the other places he had been. It was extremely fascinating.
Until he informed me that space was ‘boring as hell’.
“WHAT?!”
“Just empty space, some more empty space—oh, look, a big floating rock—and even more empty space.”
I grumbled under my breath about ‘smart-assed robots’ and he laughed.

We had been on the road for almost a full day so far. Meals had so far been purchased at a drive-thru, which was hilarious when there was a female window attendant. The males all drooled over the car, but the females all had the same reaction when they saw Jazz: blushing, slack jaws, and the sudden intense desire to hit on him like they have never hit before.
“That girl wanted to bear your children, Jazzy.”
“What?”
His obliviousness just made it that much more hilarious.
For me.
“Why do all the human females act so strange, Lily? Are they damaged?”
“They think you’re hot.”
He went very still, the engine of the car stuttering once before continuing to drive on smoothly. I stifled a laugh into my palm.
“Really?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

It was supposed to take about a week to get to the other side of the country at the speed that most people drove. When I read that to Jazz off the internet directions I had printed out, he had laughed for a good ten minutes.
“We could make it in three days.”
I grinned. “Legally?”
“Eh, potato, potahtoe.”

While he swerved effortlessly around the cars on the highway (“Holy shit, BE CAREFUL!” “Relax, I have reflexes like lightning!” “Tell that to that poor squirrel!” “…”), we took turns swapping stories about our lives.

Suddenly, there was a large red metal face looming directly in front of me. “And so how’d you meet the little human?”
I narrowed my eyes. “I have a name. I don’t call you ‘big alien robot’, do I?”
Laughter. “No, I guess not.”

While two cars rocketed around in a cheesy Hollywood chase on the giant screen, Sam fell into easy conversation with the newest Autobot charge. He was pretty amazed at the record time they found something in common…
“I SO agree! Human yo-yo, Autobot edition would be EPIC!”
Jazz raised an optic ridge. “Gee, Lil, didn’t place you for suicidal.”
She stuck out her tongue at the reclining bot. “Chicken.”

Lily’s face softened as she stared at the mech. “No, Jazz. Recharge. I’m sure you were all self-sacrificing and stayed awake while I was out,” she added sarcastically, to Bee and Ratchet’s amused nods. “So rest, or I’ll sic Ratchet on you.”
“Ooh, low blow, kid.”
“I do what I can.”
Ratchet rolled his eyes.

Yeah, I hadn’t yet had the pleasure of meeting the two bots I was most intimidated of. That was going to happen this evening, since Jazz insisted on introducing me to them. He got a deer-in-headlights look for that one, to which he had an oh-so comforting response:
“Oh, don’t worry. Optimus is actually a big softie when it comes to humans. Don’t mind the fact that he’s twice as tall as me. And Ironhide will just threaten to shoot you; he won’t actually go through with it.”

Optimus glanced at the medic. “Let’s get them inside where it’s safer. The others are almost finished, anyway.”
I peeked around one massive finger and suddenly had the urge to laugh.
Starscream was retreating rather quickly, Jazz on the ground shaking his fist at the jet and cursing quite colorfully. The twins were demolishing Thundercracker as he tried to escape, while Prowl and Ironhide kicked the shit out of Skywarp. Cute little Bumblebee was quite cheerfully stomping on Barricade.
I couldn’t help it; I giggled. Sam glanced my way, eyebrows quirked, and that had me giggling harder. His lips twitched; I snorted.
Then the dam broke.
Sam and I exchanged a look and collapsed, senseless with hilarity, sprawled out over each other in the middle of the Autobot leader’s massive hand, laughing until neither of us could breathe or see through the tears.
And, surprisingly or perhaps not, somewhere over the raucous sound of our laughter, I heard a deep rumbling that could only have been the mirth of Optimus Prime.




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