Humans

One: Thunderstorms
Characters: Lily, Jazz, Annabelle, Ironhide

The Autobots weren’t unused to strange weather patterns and vicious storms that sprung up out of nowhere. In their travels across the universe, they had visited many a hostile planet with very unforgiving conditions. So the large mechs were relatively prepared for almost anything thrown their way.
But Earth, seeming so tranquil and calm at first glance, really surprised them in terms of thunderstorms. The vibrant blue and green planet seemed far too delicate to also be that violent.
The first Earth thunderstorm they experienced caused quite the uproar on the base. Mainly because after the first rumble of thunder, Red Alert had worked himself into a panic thinking that Decepticons had gotten around his high-tech security system and were attacking the base.
Once he was calmed down (read: Sideswipe tripped him into a wall), Sam managed to explain that, no, Megatron himself had not been resurrected to bang down the door of the base. It was just thunder.
And that was generally accepted. Ratchet was the only one still grumbling, but that was because he was on his fifth repair of the day—and all of them were Twin-related. But for everyone else, the loud rumbles were just thunder.
Only, it wasn’t ‘just thunder’ the first time Will and his family were at the base during one of the storms. The Autobots had grown perfectly accustomed to the weather and hardly noticed it anymore. Until it became quite obvious that Annabelle Lennox did NOT like thunder.
Ratchet had to fix several auditory receptors that evening, but on the plus side—no one could hear his grumbling this time.
And so the Cybertronians learned just how loud human babies can scream.
But aside from frightening the normally calm and quiet Annabelle, the storms that were apparently so frequent in the summer months didn’t seem to affect any of the other humans at the base. An especially loud and jarring peal of thunder would sometimes merit a low whistle of appreciation, but were otherwise ignored by the Earthlings.
Except Lily.
Jazz was quite sure Primus purposely put him in guardianship of the one human on Earth that had no self-preservation instincts when it came to lightning. Perhaps it was karma for being a bit too reckless in one too many battles. Whatever it was, Jazz had his work cut out for him.
Sure, Bee often had to remind Sam not to be on his computer when one of these electrical storms started up, and Will didn’t run for cover quite as fast as Ironhide thought he should.
But with Lily, her lack of concern for getting hit by lightning was quite intentional. She liked being outside during the storms, sitting at the door of the base and watching the sky, despite Jazz blowing a gasket every time he found her being so reckless.
And then when he yelled at her for it, she ran outside in the downpour with one of Ratchet’s smaller—metal—wrenches, waving her arms around and shouting at the sky to ‘shock me’.
Ratchet didn’t know whether to be amused or concerned when the silver bot trudged into his med bay, dripping wet and holding Lily in his palm. The young human looked like a drowned rat and was scowling quite darkly at her caretaker, arms folded crossly.
“Think she’s blown a circuit, Ratch,” Jazz muttered, earning an indignant squawk from the tiny girl in his hand. “Could yeh check and see why she has this sudden urge to be charred to a crisp?”
Ratchet decided on amused as Lily was passed into his hand, fixing her guardian with a glare that promised retribution.
“Recharge with one optic online tonight, Jazz,” she growled, pointing one warning finger at him. The silver bot just waved a hand and left the med bay, doors sliding shut behind him.
Ratchet looked down at the fuming girl, one optic ridge raised. “Do I want to know?”
Lily’s face smoothed out and she smiled angelically up at him. “You’ll see soon enough.”
The medic sighed, sure he’d be seeing Jazz back in his med bay soon enough. “Try not to scratch him. I’m running low on his color paint, mind you.”
If possibly, Lily’s smile became even more radiant. “What a pity. Guess we’ll just have to paint him pink. There’s plenty of that left.”
And as the human hopped innocently from his palm and strolled out of the room whistling, Ratchet shook his head. Now he had a pretty good guess as to why all his silver paint had suddenly and conveniently disappeared.
---
Two: Horror Movies
Characters: Sam, Prowl, Optimus, Miles, Lily

He really had to credit the US government—they had given them the perfect base to accommodate the Autobots on Earth. It was big enough to house even the tallest mech (and so far, he would know), and it was far enough out in the middle of the Nevada deserts so as to ensure against unwitting humans stumbling across it. Indeed, Optimus Prime was quite pleased with the large, abandoned aircraft hangar that John Keller had managed to procure for their new area of operations. A few days’ of work allowed them to quarter off many different rooms and make the base, per Prowl and Red Alert’s borderline-paranoid insistence, quite secure.
It was secure enough to weather anything the Decepticons could throw their way. Sideswipe was certain it was secure enough to survive a nuclear attack. Sam agreed. But it served its purpose: Barricade had been seen several weeks earlier, patrolling around the base at a distance, clearly searching for a weakness in the defenses. Needless to say, he left in disappointment. Optimus was glad his team finally had a place to relax and feel confident that they weren’t going to be ambushed without warning.
So the leader of the Autobots was quite startled to hear terrified human screams suddenly resound throughout the halls, coming from the rec room that Sam, Miles, and Lily had disappeared into earlier to watch a movie.
But when he burst into the room, Ratchet and Prowl on his heels, there was no threat immediately apparent. No Decepticon had snuck into the base to attack the humans. No Autobot had gotten too careless and nearly stepped on one of the small teens. There wasn’t any sign that something was out of the ordinary.
Except for the fact that Miles was still shrieking like a femme, Sam had his eyes squeezed shut and ears blocked, and Lily was burying her face in the pillows of the couch they were sitting on.
“What’s wr—“ Optimus began. His gaze landed on the TV screen in time to see a masked human man gorily decapitate another with a chainsaw. Over the revving noise, he heard Lily let out another squeal and bury her face deeper into the pillows.
In two short footsteps, Prowl had grabbed the Autobot-sized remote and switched off the TV, cutting off an on-screen femme’s bloodcurdling scream. Seeing no one injured, Ratchet rolled his optics and left the room in a huff.
“What’s going on?” Optimus asked, keeping his voice soft to not spook the apparently frightened humans. “Are you alright, younglings?”
Sam finally uncovered his eyes and ears, leaning into Miles with a groan of exertion. Both boys tumbled to the floor, to Optimus and Prowl’s alarm. But then they started laughing weakly, and Lily picked up her head to glare at them, her hair falling in her face ruining the effect. “WHY did I listen to you two? That was terrifying! You said it wasn’t that bad!”
Miles rolled off Sam, shaking his head. “That was awesome!”
Sam glanced up to see Prowl and Optimus staring at them with as much confusion as can be portrayed by metal face plates. He picked up the plastic case sitting on the side table and waved it at them. “Horror movie, guys. Sorry ‘bout the screaming.”
Prowl’s logic processors whirred. “I do not understand. Why were you watching such a gruesome holo-chip?”
“For fun,” Miles shrugged.
“I do not see the fun in being terrified.”
“That makes two of us,” Lily muttered, clearly having been coerced into watching the movie by the two teenaged boys still sprawled out on the floor.
Sam picked himself up, craning his neck to meet the tactician’s optics. “For the rush, I guess. There’s something freeing about screaming yourself silly. But not everyone likes it.” He ducked a pillow flying at him courtesy of his pissed-off friend, who then wandered into the kitchen unit, muttering.
Optimus nodded, starting to understand. “The fright produces adrenaline in human systems, usually to activate the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. The rush can be enjoyable. I suppose it’s the same reason many humans participate in the so-called ‘extreme sports’.”
Then, to the large bot’s terror, Miles and Sam exchanged a wide-eyed look that quickly morphed into twin evil grins at the mention of ‘extreme sports’. “Think we can talk Cliffjumper into Human Yo-Yo?” Sam questioned, thinking back to the arrival of the newest, quite impulsive Autobot.
Miles jumped up, eyes bright. “Bet we can!”
Lily’s head poked out of the kitchen. Any hopes of her reasoning with the two boys was shot to hell when she grinned. “Just tell him it’s a new fighting technique.”
“Miles gets to be the test-run!”
“But then we wouldn’t be able to tell if he has a head injury! You need a brain to injure!”
“HEY!”
Optimus and Prowl exchanged a horrified look as the three teens ran out of the room, gleefully plotting and trying to trip each other.
“Better tell Ratchet to ready the med bay.”
“Oh, the wrenches are going to fly…”